On Sunday, February 12, 2012, the writer of this blog was found dead in his dorm. Next to him were found several notes recounting the events of the previous night, most of them apparently written in his own blood.
Saturday, 11.02.12 8:56 PM
So, I went to brush my teeth, but there were two people using the sinks to get water for ramen. College!
Saturday, 11.02.12 9:14 PM
I guess it's not just ramen. They're having a full-on food party out there in the hall. Some of the stuff smells pretty strong.
Saturday, 11.02.12 9:31 PM
I'm having trouble breathing and my eyes are burning. I think I'm allergic to something they're using, plus it smells just... awful. It's like the olfactory equivalent of sandpaper. I'm going for a walk.
Saturday 11.02.12 9:49 PM
Okay, seriously? I've walked all over the place and I can still smell it clearly as ever. I have no idea why someone would need that much spice. What is that, wasabi? Can you even eat that much and survive?
Saturday 11.02.12 10:10 PM
There is no use. The smell has permeated the entire campus.
Saturday 11.02.12 10:23 PM
The smell has permeated the entire town. I cannot escape.
Saturday 11.02.12 10:31 PM
I am upwind of the source. I can smell it. I can smell it against the tropical breezes. What does this mean?
Stardate 11.02.12 10:34 PM
Clearly the entire world has been contaminated and it has looped back around to here. We must burn it down, burn it all down, and start anew. Fire is the cleanser.
Saturday 11.02.12 10:40 PM
They fight my vision. They know not the evil they support. Pure, cleansing flames.
Saturday 11.02.12 11:16 PM
On February 11th, 2012, a date which shall live in infamy, American college students stationed in Hawaii were suddenly and deliberately attacked by Japanese spices.
Saturday 11.02.12 11:26 PM
Have I perhaps wronged them in some way? Please, if there's something I can do to make you stop, I'll do it!
Day in Glory of Saturn 11.02.12 11:34 PM
To the manufacturers of the Bug Bomb,
Have I got an exciting business proposal for you! If you consider joining your wonderful and iconic Bug Bomb with the cleaning power of air purifiers and cleansing bleach, I'm certain it would sell wonders. I believe you could make a working prototype and send it to the provided address within the next thirty minutes, and I will gladly let you keep the profits venture.
Day in Glory of Saturn 11.02.12 11:34 PM (scrawled on top of the previous note)
To the manufacturers of 2,4,6-trinitrotoluene,
Have I got an exciting business proposal for you! If you consider joining your wonderful and iconic trinitrotoluene with the cleaning power of air purifiers and cleansing bleach, I'm certain it would sell wonders. I believe you could make a working prototype and send it to the provided address within the next thirty minutes, and I will gladly let you keep the profits from this venture.
Saturday 11.02.12 11:55 PM
I promise to be a better Christian if I make it through this. Please just make the spices go away.
Sunday 11.03.12 12:00 AM
Better Muslim?
Sunday 11.03.12 12:03 AM
Was it Jamestown? Did I miss my chance already?
Sunday 11.03.12 12:12 AM
Oh, I get it. It's Shinto, right? Pretty tricky!
Tsundere 11.03.12 12:18 AM
If I don't make it through this, call every girl on my contacts list and tell her I love her.
Sunday 11.03.12 12:19 AM
Unless there's an asterisk by her name, in which case tell her I hate her.
Sunday 11.03.12 12:26 AM
I'm not sure why everyone hates Pauly Shore, Biodome was hilarious! He made noise with his mouth a lot.
Sunday 11.03.12 12:31 AM
I fear my mind has begun to failllllllllllme. Let it be known that I am a man who faces death with composure!
Sundae 11.03.12 12:44 AM
I drew a horsey [this note was accompanied by a picture of a horse, also drawn in the author's blood]
Dimanche 11.03.12 12:51 AM
Screenplay idea: a man struggles against the forces of darkness, despite the darkness's horrible smell and Japan spice
[the rest of the screenplay has been omitted from this report for brevity]
In addition, investigators estimate the author used well over the 4 L of blood contained in a single body in writing this screenplay. DNA testing is currently being used to determine from whom he took the rest.
Sunday 11.03.12 12:64 AM
I don't like Google Chrome. I just don't. Too fancy.
Soonday 8.6.75 3:09 AM
They're still out there. Why? Why are they still out there?
Monday Monday Why Would You Leave And Not Take Me April 14 802,701 AD
There is no place for me in this world. Farewell, foul stench.
4 8 15 16 23 42
Oh, wait! Tomorrow they're serving pancakes, aren't they? I'm gonna miss that.
There were no more notes.
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