Filler

I apologize for my lack of activity and lateness on this week's top ten, due in part to some minor health complications.  I'll get that up as soon as possible.  In the meantime, enjoy this conversation between myself and a friend over Facebook chat:


>I got a $50 off coupon to Men's Warehouse for some reason.
>You should get a suit and demand you look good in it.
>Haha.
"But you guarantee it!"
"Our slogan is targeted towards men."
"But there was no gender specification in your guarantee!"
>Be sure to make it as awkward as possible. Bring that up as often as semantically possible. "Yes, hello, I'm a woman and I'm shopping at Men's Warehouse, whilst I am a woman. Please help me find a man's suit."
>"I have ovaries, and I would like to see be fitted for one of your finest men's tuxedos. Run along now, this two x chromosome possessing female gets impatient!"
>A tuxedo for $50?
>$50 off. Obviously I have some money in the tuxedo fund already. The discount would be a bonus.
>I see.
And you need to think of something to say if they ask for what you need it.
"For appearing in music videos."
"In case of nuclear holocaust."
"I've inherited a large number of novelty ties and have no canvas on which to display them."
>Hahaha
"I've been hired to accompany people who have an extreme fear of arriving overdressed to social gatherings."
"It's a sexual thing. Don't ask."
"I'd like to find something nice to be buried in."
>"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."
"To throw them off my trail."
"It adds +5 to my DEX and poison resistance."
>"I'm being photographed as a female interpretation of Magritte's "Son of Man." I'm stopping by the fruit stand after this."
"My sister wants to go the penguin exhibit at the school. I wanted to make them feel more comfortable."
"I'm trying to scare my hyper-religious relatives. They're convinced I'm a lesbian."
>"Prostitution is such a dirty industry, I wanted to bring some class to it."
"It makes people more likely to trust my drunken advice."
"Why, what would YOU wear to the World Cup?"
>"I wanted something nice to tear off when I run off to fight crime."
"I'm a dog lover. I don't believe in wearing colors they can't perceive."
"To be honest I don't really need the tuxedo, but I need the hanger to go perform a back alley abortion."