Wednesday, March 21, 2012

My Public Enemies List

Where I "honor" the "contributions" of those who have made the world that much worse by their continued existence or lingering presence.

- "The Best of Pauly Shore" is an oxymoron.

- Advice to writers: read Twilight.  Do the opposite.

- To music producer Mr. Bangladesh:
Beethoven and Mozart, yes, could famously compose entire pieces in their heads.  This is not what you are doing.  It is called "schizophrenia".

- From what I can tell, Beyonce has gone through what can only be described as an unending cavalcade of bad break-ups where the man was entirely at fault, each and every time inspiring her to write and perform a song on the topic.  Perhaps she has some sort of sac or auxiliary organ in which she stores bile and hatred for future use.

- Chris Brown thanks his fans for his success.  Makes sense, since we know it wasn't his musical ability or personality or that he deserved it.
His greatest hits album is coming out, by the way.  Most of them are to the face.

- I don't think I can properly make fun of Jack Chick.  Anything I say would just make him seem less ridiculous than he already is.

- Whenever I get frustrated while trying to draw something, I like to think, "Well, worst case scenario, it's still better than Rob Liefeld."

- Ronald Reagan raised taxes and increased the deficit while somehow convincing modern political actives that we can and should decrease taxes and spending like Ronald Reagan did.

- Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church disliked a verdict held in Sweden that incarcerated a preacher for using hate speech to decry homosexuality.  So they did what they did... well, not "best", but "most often".  They picketed.  They did not picket the Swedish government, or a Swedish embassy, or an area of the United States with a lot of people of Swedish descent.  They picketed a local vacuum store, one of whose brands was originally from Sweden.  I wish I were making this up.  Oh, by the way, as American citizens, their votes count exactly as much as yours does; more, actually, if you live in a populous state.  Ponder that one for a minute.

- Rush Limbaugh clearly speaks for the common man, as does everyone who makes $55 million per year working three hours per day.  From what I can tell, his opinion counts for about 3,250 times the common man's.

- Congratulations, Hot Chelle Rae.  I award you the title of "Musical Unflavored Oatmeal".

- Here's my hypothesis on Jane Eyre: it was published as a series of literary articles in England during a key period, when scientists were first learning about the causes of disease, specifically cholera, in this case.  Also during this time period, paper was considered a commodity, thus people were unlikely to dispose of it.  Jane Eyre was published to encourage the use of bathroom hygiene by making paper that was certifiably useless and which no one would want to keep.  No one had the heart to tell Charlotte.

No comments:

Post a Comment