My Public Enemies List

Where I "honor" the "contributions" of those who have made the world that much worse by their continued existence or lingering presence.

- "The Best of Pauly Shore" is an oxymoron.

- Advice to writers: read Twilight.  Do the opposite.

- To music producer Mr. Bangladesh:
Beethoven and Mozart, yes, could famously compose entire pieces in their heads.  This is not what you are doing.  It is called "schizophrenia".

- From what I can tell, Beyonce has gone through what can only be described as an unending cavalcade of bad break-ups where the man was entirely at fault, each and every time inspiring her to write and perform a song on the topic.  Perhaps she has some sort of sac or auxiliary organ in which she stores bile and hatred for future use.

- Chris Brown thanks his fans for his success.  Makes sense, since we know it wasn't his musical ability or personality or that he deserved it.
His greatest hits album is coming out, by the way.  Most of them are to the face.

- I don't think I can properly make fun of Jack Chick.  Anything I say would just make him seem less ridiculous than he already is.

- Whenever I get frustrated while trying to draw something, I like to think, "Well, worst case scenario, it's still better than Rob Liefeld."

- Ronald Reagan raised taxes and increased the deficit while somehow convincing modern political actives that we can and should decrease taxes and spending like Ronald Reagan did.

- Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church disliked a verdict held in Sweden that incarcerated a preacher for using hate speech to decry homosexuality.  So they did what they did... well, not "best", but "most often".  They picketed.  They did not picket the Swedish government, or a Swedish embassy, or an area of the United States with a lot of people of Swedish descent.  They picketed a local vacuum store, one of whose brands was originally from Sweden.  I wish I were making this up.  Oh, by the way, as American citizens, their votes count exactly as much as yours does; more, actually, if you live in a populous state.  Ponder that one for a minute.

- Rush Limbaugh clearly speaks for the common man, as does everyone who makes $55 million per year working three hours per day.  From what I can tell, his opinion counts for about 3,250 times the common man's.

- Congratulations, Hot Chelle Rae.  I award you the title of "Musical Unflavored Oatmeal".

- Here's my hypothesis on Jane Eyre: it was published as a series of literary articles in England during a key period, when scientists were first learning about the causes of disease, specifically cholera, in this case.  Also during this time period, paper was considered a commodity, thus people were unlikely to dispose of it.  Jane Eyre was published to encourage the use of bathroom hygiene by making paper that was certifiably useless and which no one would want to keep.  No one had the heart to tell Charlotte.

Hoods

I've always been baffled by the clothing of Sora from Kingdom Hearts.  Now, I can overlook the zippers and the belts and the Mickey Mouse color scheme.  What bugs me is that his short-sleeve shirt has a hood.  Why?  What weather or event would mandate that your head be covered completely, but not your arms?  He lives on a tropical island, and as a person who lives on a tropical island let me tell you there is little occasion to wear a hood.  Considering he always has it down makes me doubt its necessity.  This is actually a recurring theme in Tetsuya Nomura's character designs.  Tidus has it, and Neku doesn't have a hood, per se, but he does have a scoop-like thing on a sleeveless shirt.

What is that thing?  Oh well.  I just wrote it off as something weird Tetsuya Nomura does.  But then I discovered this:

A hoodie-vest, being worn by Kagamine Rin.  Interesting.

As it turns out, this is an actual thing in Japan.  I have seen several Japanese students at my school wearing vests with hoods or short-sleeved hoodies of some kind.  Why?  It's much the same dilemma as the sweater-vest, which by the way appeared in that same video.

It's too warm for when it's warm, it's not warm enough for when it's cold.  These articles have no logical purpose.  They are kept, of course, purely for fashion reasons.

What this says is obvious: people are attracted to people with no sense of practicality.

Filler

I apologize for my lack of activity and lateness on this week's top ten, due in part to some minor health complications.  I'll get that up as soon as possible.  In the meantime, enjoy this conversation between myself and a friend over Facebook chat:


>I got a $50 off coupon to Men's Warehouse for some reason.
>You should get a suit and demand you look good in it.
>Haha.
"But you guarantee it!"
"Our slogan is targeted towards men."
"But there was no gender specification in your guarantee!"
>Be sure to make it as awkward as possible. Bring that up as often as semantically possible. "Yes, hello, I'm a woman and I'm shopping at Men's Warehouse, whilst I am a woman. Please help me find a man's suit."
>"I have ovaries, and I would like to see be fitted for one of your finest men's tuxedos. Run along now, this two x chromosome possessing female gets impatient!"
>A tuxedo for $50?
>$50 off. Obviously I have some money in the tuxedo fund already. The discount would be a bonus.
>I see.
And you need to think of something to say if they ask for what you need it.
"For appearing in music videos."
"In case of nuclear holocaust."
"I've inherited a large number of novelty ties and have no canvas on which to display them."
>Hahaha
"I've been hired to accompany people who have an extreme fear of arriving overdressed to social gatherings."
"It's a sexual thing. Don't ask."
"I'd like to find something nice to be buried in."
>"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."
"To throw them off my trail."
"It adds +5 to my DEX and poison resistance."
>"I'm being photographed as a female interpretation of Magritte's "Son of Man." I'm stopping by the fruit stand after this."
"My sister wants to go the penguin exhibit at the school. I wanted to make them feel more comfortable."
"I'm trying to scare my hyper-religious relatives. They're convinced I'm a lesbian."
>"Prostitution is such a dirty industry, I wanted to bring some class to it."
"It makes people more likely to trust my drunken advice."
"Why, what would YOU wear to the World Cup?"
>"I wanted something nice to tear off when I run off to fight crime."
"I'm a dog lover. I don't believe in wearing colors they can't perceive."
"To be honest I don't really need the tuxedo, but I need the hanger to go perform a back alley abortion."